过渡期

新的学期又开始了。再次回到USM，整个感觉完完全全180度的改变了。

突然间，朋友都不见了，一个一个慢慢离去了；
突然间，不太爱群体活动，在大家一起走的时候，选择了音乐的陪伴；
突然间，喜欢一个人静静地发呆，才发现呆在房间，也是一种乐趣；
突然间，感觉我的世界好像与他人的世界格格不入；
突然间，把心关的紧紧地，谁也进不来；
突然间，看着镜子的自己，感觉很陌生，她到底是谁？
突然间，发现我变得不一样了，怎么找也找不回了。。。

学期才刚开始，哪来的那么多的突然间？
一直很努力的想找出原因，
问了自己的心很多次了，
但，我好像还是找不到真正的答案。

有时候，我真的很怕历史重演；
有时候，我真的不想伤害他人；
有时候，想着想着，开始讨厌自己，开始害怕跟某个人太好了。。。

我，到底在意什么？
心，你到底发生什么事了？
我的心，你几时才愿意说出真心话？
嘴巴，你几时才要开始行动？
振霓，你到底怎么了？真的变了吗？
还要一直欺骗自己，我需要多一点时间？这是个过渡期吗？

我拜托你，别再给自己一个借口了。
心，我知道你明明还会介意，还在默默地关心着她；
头脑，你别再想那么多了，跟着心走；

嘴巴，拜托你，主动点！！！

我真的不想让历史重演，

不想历史重演，

不想再尴尬下去了～～～

Internship

Internship

Internship seems like a long term of training camp for me. It train the way I think, the way I work with people around me, and it actually show me who am I. I really appreciate that I being assigned to CBS team although throughout internship period, I did complain lots.

I was being offered by both Seagate and Altera Company at the early of April. However, I rejected Altera just because I don’t like the manager (quite funny + stupid reason). And after that I actually got a little bit regret to reject Altera just because such stupid reason. However, till the end, I still very grateful that I choose Seagate as my internship company. 

Although I being bully much in Seagate, but I cannot deny that I really learn much if compare with my friends. I was thrown as much as work that I able to do (just because they think I am capable enough). I was the busiest intern in Seagate. I seldom have the time to relax, to chat with other intern. What I always did during working time was face computer, chat with my end user and did coding. Crazy and I actually very jealous other intern as they have their own free time to watch movie, chat with others, scrolling fb during working hour. However, from what I heard from them, they also jealous of me as I can learn so much, able to teach people, able to communicate with end user throughout this period. Ya, I admit it, those are a very good and memorable experience for me. And I actually miss those moments in Seagate after my internship end. What a crazy thinking, I have a thinking want go back continue do coding and work together with my colleague. I think I should be crazy already as I have such thinking.

By the way, I think I miss moment in Seagate just because I got a very caring mentor. Her name is Mandy. She teach me lots of things although she always on leave or go training. Haha, I still remember my first month in Seagate; she got two week plus not coming working. She was the person always worry and encourage me to pick up the challenge. Give me to handle the project alone, to communicate with the end user alone, guide a new hire to handle a big application worry about me when I not concentrate with my things, and praise me in front of my manager. Even when she on vacation, she still come and check my progress, check on my presentation slide. All her action actually makes me feel warm. When I face any difficulties or cannot gain trust from project manager, she always are the one who help to explain and solve the things. She always says guiding me is her responsibility but I don’t think so. I was being assigned to under her, but she can just throw the task to me and dun care me anymore. She always busy with her task and still have to take care of me. Because of her, I feel like I not an intern but a part of Seagate employee. I being treat fairly and I able to behave like an employee. That is what I really feel touch and thanks to her sincerely.

Those moments in Seagate, I can say got up and down. I always the one who get play around by my colleagues, I am the joke during cbs weekly meeting, being fooled and get bullied. I cannot believe that, I get played until my farewell party. At that farewell party, I really can feel that my colleagues wish I can come back to work in Seagate again because I am one of their Pistachios. I thought I will be a different person, more mature when step in working environment. But from the way my colleague treat me, I seem like still a little girl in front of me.  A pure, silly, always smile, responsible, dedicated and always think about others girl. That is what they comment on me. It seem like no different with my behavior in uni. Dunno is a good thing or not. Haha…

Below is the message from my dearest mentor:

Dear Jenny:

We will surely miss you. Hope you enjoy your final year in USM before you step into working environment. I am so happy to have you as my teammate, a responsible, dedicated and quick learner. Continue your good spirit and wish you have a good future. Jiayou!!!

FROM your “best” mentor

Comment from my manager:

Chin Nei came to Seagate as an intern but in a short period of working exposure, she has ramped up her learning curve to learn Force.com development to be a full developer. She was given full exposure to software engineer's life for leading eLeave application right by adopting full Agile development lifecycle till application deployment. In that course of time, her communication skill and analytical skill improved vastly. She was able to articulate and participated actively in all the communications between with end users and put into perspective the right kind of development needed. She was quick to solve all tasks assigned to her. Her constant walkthrough with her mentor has increased her confidence and vastly improved her technical skills. I look forward to see her career growth with this kind of right aptitude.

I was very happy and appreciate that I have the chance to work with everyone in CBS team. Keep in touch. ^^

发明星梦？

最近不知为什么开始追星起来了。没错，就是那位还蛮傻的橘子头，狮子女，Nicole赖淞凤。真的也不知道为什么，开始喜欢上她了，而且追的还蛮疯狂的，在考试期间还继续留意他的消息；会因为她拿到低分而心疼。这应该是所谓的追星吧。。。看着他的比赛过程，才开始慢慢的喜欢上他。喜欢他比赛的那个心态，得失心不重，面对任何事对保持微笑；虽然哭点有点低，但哭完后还是那么的倔强，坚强的继续走下去。这一切一切，都是我应该去学习的。不懂为什么，我总觉得她还蛮像我的，傻乎乎的，很直率外带有点可爱，很讲义气；但她真的比我成熟很多很多。（连我的前室友都讲她的行为有点像我，好傻）。可能是因为这个原因吧，总把她当成是我学习的对象；才把她当偶像那样崇拜。哈哈。

最近，放假了。在家闲着没事做，又开始关注另一位星光的傻大姐，曾沛慈。她是来自星光二班的。（怎么我都当傻瓜是偶像呢？）看着这位傻大姐慢慢的从一个素人变到开始慢慢的拥有小小的粉丝团，让我又在开始发明星梦了。我一直都很喜欢唱歌，但却还蛮怕在陌生人或大家面前唱。还记得有些人说我唱歌还不赖，邀我一起去学习唱歌，我连想都不想就拒绝了。最大的原因应该是我没有勇气，我不想把我的兴趣变成我天天练习的东西，我不喜欢把它拿来与其他人做比较。就好像有些人问过我，为什么你的数学酱厉害，不去主修数学呢？不懂叻，我就是不想，我不喜欢把我的兴趣和考试或压力连在一起。所以，看着他们一路的比赛，我真的很崇拜那些人。有些人真的是打从心底爱唱歌而去唱的，他们那个很敢做的行为，那个勇气我真的很欣赏。还记得上次我连信任队友那个游戏的勇气都拿不出来。（上次还差点被逼去玩那个游戏，如果真的要倒下去的话，我想我应该会在那边站几十分钟吧。。。哈哈）我想我真的要好好的训练我那颗胆小的心。

唱歌或听歌都让我很高兴，有什么心事听一下歌，心情很奇妙的就会好起来了。不懂为什么音乐对我来说就是有那股力量，当我开心是让我更开心，当我伤心时陪我疗伤。我只是单纯的爱唱歌，单纯爱音乐。我是爱音乐的孩子^^。实习要来咯，可能在这六个月我会有所改变。