Coursemate vs Kalyana mitta

I still remember there was a people always said that : “you always mix with your coursemate. Whenever I called you out, you sure reject due to mix with them.” Actually, I had think of this question before… Did I really behave like this? Did I really like to mix with my coursemate? I wondering why that person said like that, may be you can say me think too much, but I start feeling that I like to mix with my coursemate rather than my kalyana mitta.

                When mix with my coursemate, they treat me as a small kid. Always play with me, together rush our assignment, together hang out, together burn midnight oil just to complete assignment, together gossip, sleep together in one bed… All those things make me feel very relax, happy and when mix with them I had no stress at all… Although sometime there was some stress during rushing our assignment or project, but at the end, we still stick together and went to celebrate. I cannot deny that I really like those feeling which given by my coursemate and I did agree that sometime I cannot found those feeling in PPB. Actually, I got family feeling in my computer science course, may be because all of them treat me as a kid, I have foster father and mother inside my course and they really treat me very nice. My “haha” will listen to my complaint and along with me whenever I need her. And yet, she is a good listener. May be because of those reason, make my kalyana mitta feel that I have some distance with them.

                Home away from home, that is what my buddhist society called. Many of my kalyana mitta, my junior can feel the warmth of home from my buddhist society. I wonder why I don’t have such feeling. In PPB, I have to act as a leader, may be sometime I had lots of responsibilities at the same time. Many senior, my kalyana mitta feel that I got talent to become a leader, can take or incharge on many things. But I feel like I don’t have such ability to handle those things. May be because I lack of confident.  Actually I really not so like to take a post or incharge in one activity but now seem like it become my natural behavior. I will automatically go to console someone or care about others when found that there are someone who needed. At PPB, I learn how to make myself more confident, I learn how to be responsible, I know that learning Buddha is good for my future life, I know how to give people positive energy and share useful knowledge with people.  No pain no gain, I do lots of things that I never try before in this society. Although I did complain to my “haha” whenever I meet obstacle during this process but I really learn a lot from here. May be I join this society not because of make friend or social with others, may be because I want to challenge myself, I wish I can be a better me.

                There is going to end my ad hoc project in PPB, orientation week. I had promise myself must write a summary for MO within 1 week after all MO activities had done. It is a feedback of me for this half year. I believe that I had learned and grow up a lot by joining that activity.